i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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