Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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