when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
