And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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