I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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