it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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