Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
