he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
