im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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