Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Randomize
