Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
