I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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