Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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