i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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