He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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