Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
