Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize