pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
