My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
