I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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