We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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