I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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