i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is Oprah even human
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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