that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
