I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
