ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
