i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
