Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
