Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
