I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize