Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
