she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
