Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
