He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
