My room smells like vodka and shame
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
