Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You are the jesus of drinking
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
