The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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