last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
