Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
