I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
