I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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