I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
