i always forget guys have bellybuttons
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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