if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
