did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
