Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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