I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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