I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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