some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just cut my nipple shaving
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
