I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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