I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
