his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
