I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
