watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
