Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
