and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
