Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
