It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
