I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Panties = found
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
