Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
