Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
