yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
