Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
