Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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