are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
