It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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