We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
